I am afraid to be Black.
I am afraid to be Black in this world we have created.
The judgement that comes with all it means to be black in an oh so white world.
I am afraid to step out into the world in this skin of mine.
I am afraid to be seen as the Black Woman that I am.
The judgement that I am too black for some and not black enough for others.
I am afraid to be Black in this world that will embrace me whilst I toe the line.
Yet, spits me out as soon as I fail to conform.
I fear my Blackness that I cannot deny.
My melanated skin leaves me no place to hide.
I fear the looks and stares.
The judgement.
That my hips are too wide, my shoulders too broad.
My lips too thick and mouth too wide.
My hair too curly and ass way too big.
You steal what you once mocked and degraded.
Cultural appropriation of what you once objectified, is now sexualised.
This world is not kind to those of colour.
So yes, I fear my blackness and stepping out into the world.
I fear being seen for all that I am.
So, I withhold the Lion within.
I fear being heard.
Speaking out for what is wrong.
The judgement that my voice is too loud.
My tone too aggressive.
The measure is not even.
The starting lines unfairly matched.
You take off, free of these obstacles.
My path is fraught with danger and threats of expulsion.
The barriers I face are many, that you will never encounter.
The eyes that follow me through shopping aisles, the glare from strangers as I catch their eye.
The clutching of purses and whispers as I walk by.
The stares at my hair and the colours that I wear.
The constant comments about the pigment of my skin; how black I am compared to how white you are!
The queries into my heritage; where am I from? Your curiosity I must cater to.
Perpetual reminders that...
ALL YOU BEAR WITNESS TO IS THE COLOUR OF MY SKIN
No, you CANNOT TOUCH MY HAIR.
No, I did not know, nor do I care that you have A Black friend.
Do you now hear the condescension in the words that you speak?
Have you no filter, nor foresight into the effects of your words.
Or have you simply never had to choose your words wisely? A white privilege perhaps?
Now excuse me whilst I go about my day and deal with further ignorance upon my journey.
I mean no disrespect when I say these words to you, but please back the fuck off whilst I deal with real issues.
I fear FOR MY CHILDREN.
I FEAR FOR ALL OF OUR BLACK CHILDREN.
When will they be given the opportunity to be free?
To walk freely, free of the fear of being guilty because of the colour of their skin.
They have been judged and labelled before even having the chance to prove themselves.
You set them up for failure.
Look at the role models that are presented for people of colour.
You have degraded our people for far too long. You have stolen what you found to be profitable of our homelands and cultures and left nothing for us but the waste from your exploits.
Shame on those of you who knowingly perpetuate these stories.
We are so much more than the white man will ever allow us to be.
They will never show you the truth of who you really are.
They will never show you in all of your Glory.
The STRENGTH. The WISDOM. The INGENUITY. The TALENT.
THE BEAUTY OF WHAT IT IS TO BE BLACK IN A WHITE WORLD.
The time has come for us to reclaim our POWER.
Do not allow another to dictate who and what you are and what you are capable of.
I fell into this hole and have only just begun to dig myself out of it.
I no longer fear what it means to be Black.
I no longer fear the roar of my voice. The thunder of my opinion.
The irritation that my message may stir in others.
I am here with purpose and that purpose is to remind you…
BLACK WOMAN, MAN & CHILD.
That YOU ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE.
The time has come to heal the trauma of our Ancestors who walked this Earth before us.
The time has come to create a new path for the Generations to come.
To clear the way so that they may move freely through this life.
So that they may move safely and securely for all their days.
Never forgetting that the blood of Warriors and Survivors flows through their veins.
Our Children are our future.
Let us come together now to pave the way forward.
For them and each Generation to come.
Let us heal our wounding and trauma.
In doing so we will bring healing to these lands of ours.
Let US be the ones to heal the divide between the cultures that walk these lands.
Division and segregation are what hold us back.
We cannot move forward if we are pulling in different directions.
The rebuild begins with US.
We are MANY.
LET US NOW COME TOGETHER AS ONE.